The rundown, start to finish, Tar Wars 2021…3…2…1…go!
Gun goes off and You are off .8 miles of paved surface, then groomed grass, to field, to orchard to open trail then you hit
Obstacle 1- “Footloose” all farm work and no dancing..just kidding, you’ll dance. 3 trips down and back with full size feed sacks and then the best part :10 freestyle Footloose Dance before the judge will release you to obstacle 2. Fail the obstacle, 20 burpees, decide to skip it 30 burpees (this will be the same for all obstacles).
Obstacle 2- “Full Metal Jacket” get low grunt and stay low. Butt gets too high, might not keep those pants intact. Barbed wire crawl will get muddy, wet and nasty!
Obstacle 3-“ET” needs to phone home and you are part of his crew racing from the research team, hope you have some BMX skills for this 50 yd course…on a kids bike
Obstacle 4-“All the Right Moves” break out the old school footwork, ropes are too easy, can you make it through 40 tires straight without dropping the ball? One mistake could mean 20 burpees
Obstacle 5-Hey you guyssss!!! “The Goonies” never die and they better not slip off the log crossing or burpeeville
Obstacle 6-“Children of the Corn” growing corn on the obstacle course is tough so we didn’t even try but so is clearing two round bales…better get a run at it, you get one chance or the burpees will be as painful as the COTC sequels
Obstacle 7- “Dukes of Hazzard” Not a single season went by without one of the Duke boys shirtless with a bale of hay, shirt is optional but moving 3 bales 25yards is not…yeeeeee hawwwww!
Obstacle 8- It’s a quick run down to “Raiders of the Lost Ark” better move the stones without dropping them, 3 trips down and back for a total of 75ft…oh yeah, the atlas stones are down in a trench
It’s off to Camp Crystal Lake, I’m not sure I’d call it an obstacle but I’d move quickly through this stretch of woods, somethings just not right…about 600m of trail to win the heart of your judges at
Obstacle 9- “Say Anything” but instead of a boom box you get a bumper plate and gnarly overhead carry course before you hit the trail again. Drop the weight, burpees, arms come down before finish, burpees then it’s back on trail, down in the woods, log crossing over tar creek, and then .8 miles of the gnarliest, wettest, uneven marshy terrain that circles you back across your log crossing again. As you come out of the woods you better get ready for
Obstacle 10- “Vision Quest” Shute Hill, a chunk of telephone pole is waiting, almost 100yds total, 50 up, 50 back for a good old school training climb
Quick shot down a nice trail then it’s time to slow it down and concentrate on
Obstacle 11-“Caddyshack” better shake that butt and take aim, nothing like sinking a 10ft putt in a pasture…1 shot or it’s burpees
Sprint down and get ready to bring back those college skills at
Obstacle 12-“Animal House” the faster you crush a non alcohol Busch Light or Diet Root Beer (yes those are your ONLY two choices) the faster you move on, it will be tempting to take the burpees here but just take burps because we will be hazing you the whole time.
We saved this monster for Last, we all broke a sweat watching John McClane try to hold on to Nakatomi Tower in
Obstacle 13- “Die Hard” Climbing monkey bars that go up 10ft and come down 10 ft, oh yeah, we took out the soft grass underneath which gives you a solid 12ft drop if you let go..not for the faint of heart but you could always let the terrorists win and burpee…
200m sprint to the finish and it’s 80s party time!